In my own back yard

In my own backyard is a pool - while not really in my backyard, but at the school's housing there is a pool that many of the spouses, students and kids love to go to for a "pool day".  Today was the last "pool day" for one of my friends Chelsey who coincidentally I met at the pool my first week here when Kelsey was at school.  My only other friend at the time Emily. Chelsey was so welcoming and even texted me a number of where to get my laundry done!  She's a mom of an adorable little girl, from Utah, loves the suburbs and Anthropologie.  Well this sweet friend will be traveling back to the States with her daughter as her husband finishes up his 4th and last semester here in Dominica.  It got me thinking how in only 5 months I was able to make such a great friend!  What was it that made our friendship develop so quickly.  Was it the shared struggles:  shopping at stores hours away, paying ridiculous prices to have AC running in our homes, sweating where ever you walk - WALKING to get anywhere in incredible heat!  Of course these all played a role, but I think it was so much more than this.

The women I have met here in Dominica have bypassed the "coffee shop" friend, the "see out and about" friend, and the "let's go to the mall" friend, directly to the "heart to heart" friends.   These women have become friends that I can confide in and share with, even exposing the dark and ugly parts of myself that I don't want to face myself - let alone share.  Part of this is because I know they KNOW where I am coming from......we all have husbands who are med students and we all know what it's like to see your husband for short stints at a time.  We also all have the luxury of living within a mile of each other, and due to the lack up hubby time at night - we are able to schedule "Glee Nights" (thanks Meagan) and Bible Studies to get to know each other at a much more intimate level.

But it is also because we made an EFFORT to get to know each other!  Each woman here has had to at one time or another make the first step to be the one to say "hi" and not wait for someone to say "hi" to her first.  It's an environment where you have two choices:  you can sit in your house (which even in this someone WILL call and see how you are doing) and be all alone or you can put yourself out there (emotionally speaking) chance rejection and see what type of people you will meet.  I have met people from all over the United States from all different backgrounds.  Some from cities, others small towns, some had careers, some were stay at home moms, but ALL have been amazing women with AMAZING stories that truly have only just begun.

If I never came to Dominica - would I have gotten this revelation about women and friendships?  Would I have realized the importance of investing in neighbors who are literally "next door".  Would I have discovered the treasures in friendships hidden in the hearts of women who are different from me?  Would I have been so bold as to force myself to be the one to initiate the friendship.  I don't know that I would.  Before Dominica making friends was a result of where I worked (I've been blessed to make great friends with my coworkers), where I went to church, or where I went to school.  There was not a challenge to meet my neighbor, share my struggles, open my heart to those around me.   I was comfortable seeking out people who were like me - city lovers, creative types, single, (more recently married) and who know the joys of a great glass of wine!  But now I've discovered something much more valuable than gold on my island adventure....I've discovered the value of investing in others who had different lives, backgrounds than me.  This little nugget of knowledge I pray to take back with me to any city that Kelsey and I may move to.

Until next time - I leave you with this.....if it's been years, decades, months, since you have made friends with someone in a one mile radius from your home....try baking some cookies and meeting your neighbors, you never know what hidden treasures are right in your own back yard!